Top 22 Tips For Upping Your $ex Etiquette Game

1.

Men, foreplay isn’t optional. You can’t just ram it in. We don’t need a full ‘Magic Mike XXL’, give us some good neck kisses, some tactful strokes read our body language.

2.

Don’t fake orgasms! You might think this is saving egos and pride, but you’re just not allowing yourself any pleasure. Constructive criticism is not the same as putting someone down, so if they don’t get the job done, try again!

3.

Both genders, do your kegels. These are exercises for your pelvic floor, which men can do and feel between their testicles and perineum, and women can feel in their vaginal canal. It makes your body way more sensitive, makes $ex way better, and has the power to make your orgasms a lot stronger, as well.

4.

Make sure both of you are very excited to bang. If you’re both not eager and in the mood, don’t do it. One partner that’s not as down for the deed could make for a session that’s not as synchronized as it could be, between the two of you.

5.

Be attentive in bed. Men, be aware of the nuances and sensitivities of a woman’s needs, and ladies, don’t just lie there and make the guys do all the work. Pay attention to them so that you are present the whole time, and they feel special, not just like a piece of meat that’s being tenderized.

6.

While being attentive is important, don’t stare at your partner the entire time. This is creepy. Keep the gaze to under ten seconds. A few seconds of passionate eye contact can be pretty hot, though.

7.

Don’t do the same position very time, but respect peoples’ need for lights on or lights off. If it has to do with their confidence, don’t try to push someone out of their comfort zone or make them deal with issues that they need to deal with in their own time and way.

But missionary every time is boring as hell. So while it’s good to mix some things up, if people have more predictable habits that they need to stick to like lights off, that’s perfectly fine and shouldn’t make them feel like they’re not adventurous.

8.

Don’t have regular drunk $ex. Going out with your guy or gal to a party or dinner and getting a little sloshed before you head to bed is something that happens to the best of us, but regularly having drunk $ex is a bad idea, whether its monogamous or with one night stands. You won’t be in touch with yourself, or the other person.

9.

It’s ok to talk about what you want! Positions, too much tongue, not enough tongue, slower, faster, to the right…don’t be silent about your needs!

10.

Before the playdate, get tested, no symptoms don’t mean that nothing’s wrong. And even so, don’t skip the important step of using a condom. Same goes for offering up or asking information about birth control pills.

11.

Don’t ask somebody’s “number” it’s rude and could be an instance of slut shaming. Focus on each other at the moment like nobody else exists, because nobody else shoud matter to you at that moment!

12.

It’s all about balance. Be a giver as well as a taker, in all acts. Downtown, uptown, whatever.

13.

DON’T spit on anything, for the love of god. Please don’t do this. It is not cute.

14.

Don’t force yourself to sound like a moaning porn star, but don’t be a mute either. Silent $ex is a little awkward.

15.

Don’t just go for any back door fun on a whim. It does not feel good for us ladies to be surprised by this it’s something that takes a lot of coaching and coaxing, so we need to be extremely prepared for it.

16.

Ladies, please mention if the red river has come to town.

17.

No jackhammering! This isn’t a race for one of your parents to come home and you’re past your teen years so don’t rush anything. It kinda hurts and only one of us will end up satisfied.

18.

If your partner does sleepover, no breakfast is rude. Not saying you have to cook a three course meal, but at least order some bagels and coffee from downstairs to show the person you just slept with that you don’t think they are a prostitute.

19.

No wild porn moves or surprises in her eye or hair. Unless she wants you to. This is not the crazy videos that you watch on the Internet, it’s real life.

20.

If a girl slept over and was wearing a tight and short black dress, be a gentleman and offer a big, soft tee.

21.

Similarly, make sure there’s a towel on hand for after the fun. It’s rude to be self-centered.

22.

Most importantly, have a sense of humor and stay lighthearted if $ex isn’t relaxed, it doesn’t feel comfortable or fun for anybody.

Top 22 Tips For Upping Your $ex Etiquette Game